Artifacts of a Life Once Lived

Where did I get my ideas about love from? What is love? Is it a feeling? Is love an action? Is love perfect? Do you "fall in love" or does it "find its way to you?" Will I never have doubts about a lifelong love? If I love a person will I always have intense feelings of passion for that person? Should love be based upon commitment or based upon affection? Why do people say "when you know, you know." What do they mean by that? What is it that they know? Is it just so obvious that you will know with complete certainty, the type of certainty that you get in lab tests? Surely love doesn't come softly, at least it hasn't in my case. Why is love so hard? I care significantly for a girl. I cared so much for her that I broke up with her. Ya, exactly. I don't understand either. I doesn't seem to make sense, any sense at all. I found a girl who loves deeply, I found girl who demonstrates significant selflessness and loyalty. I found a girl who likes...

Why am I so consumed with myself? Never is there a day where I do not lavish myself with some form of self-indulgence. If I eat, I eat to filling. If I drive, I drive to my advantage. If I walk, I move at my pace. If I sit, I choose the luxurious chair. If I speak, I choose language that will improve my standing. If I love, I love to the end that I may be loved. My days are filled with "me". Where is the worship in that? Is not my day to be an act of worship? Is not worship inherently an act of giving rather than taking? I suppose there are some necessary elements of this self-seeking phenomenon. Right? Must I not must be concerned about my health, my safety, my well-being in general, but have I come so far that trivial matters are just as important as vital matters? Is it really necessary that I speed around the "grandma" in front of me only to exit the freeway in 1/2 of a mile? Is "supersize" a necessity? Must I defend my reputation for the sake of perso...

Relationships are hard, so I have learned. Relationships are powerful avenues of energy, both good and evil, so I have learned. Relationships are not made in movies, so I have learned. Relationships involve two hearts, not one, so I have learned. Relationships never conform to the pretty little pictures conjured up in my head, so I have learned. Relationships turn intense passion for good into intense experiences of harm, so I have learned. Relationships demand complete transparency, so I have learned. Relationships require two hearts to be aligned towards the greater entity of "us" rather than "me", so I have learned. Relationships are a two-edged sword, so I have learned. Relationships are work, so I have learned. Relationships are delicate, so I have learned. Relationships are more than love songs and chic flicks, so I have learned. Relationships break, because the people involved are broken people, so I have learned. I am a man of many passions, walking about as...