Artifacts of a Life Once Lived

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Showing posts from December, 2006

the best way to describe the disposition of my being is found in the term "clouded." my mind is clouded, that is my mind is characterized by the concept of cloudiness. cloudiness, if i am correct, necessary indicates a state of confusion or lostness. have i lost my mind... no, i dont think so, rather, i think my mind is so full of horrors, mysteries, wonders, and the like so that i cannot think straight. it is that my mind is so full of these things that i cannot find the sight. sight into the future, sight to make difficult and life changing decisions, sight to see the next five years, sight to do what is right in the next stage of my life. have i got it wrong. the normal way to go about this life is to make a decision, follow through with it and then evaluate at the end of the process. sometimes evaluation comes all to quickly and a decision must be made earlier than was intended. however, i would like to avoid the necessary evaluation by making the right choice in the begi

if you want me to wait i will wait for you if you tell me to stay i will stay right through if you dont want to say any thing at all, im happy wondering since i was a young man, i never was a fun man i never had a plan and no security ever since i met you i never could forget you i only want to get you right here next to me cause everybody needs someone that they can trust and your somebody that i found just in time if you want me to wait i will wait for you if you tell me to stay i will stay right through if you dont want to say anything at all im happy wondering now my life is changing, its always rearranging its always getting stranger than i thought it ever could ever since is i found you i want to be around you i want to get down to the point that i met you cause everybody needs somebody that they can trust and your somebody that i found just in time if you want me to wait i will wait for you if you tell me to stay i will stay right through if you dont want to say anything at all

i see her walking in a crowd of familiar faces, she smiles at me with eyes beautiful, and i wonder why she'd choose a man like me, but i thank you God for her, she lifts me up and i wanter her to see what she means to me and i want her to know in God we'll be together can you tell me why she smiles that way at me, i get lost in her eyes like a satellite in the sky, we walk alone beneath the stars and we look up above, your beauty shines on us, i wonder why you choose a man like me, but i thank you god for us you lift us up and you want us to see what we mean to you and you want us to know that in you we'll be together, can you tell me why she smiles that way at me, i get lost in her eyes like a satellite in the sky, shine out in the darkness, wont you take me to a place ive never been where jesus holds the picture and we see love the way its supposed to be, its stronger than i, stretching past the stars we see, like a satellite in the sky, like a satellite in the sky, and k

another semester is done. i feel no different, i do not see any obvious signs of improvement in my person, rather i feel like i have digressed in my character as a whole. not much means anything to me any more. i almost cant feel. its not that i dont want to not feel, but i just cant feel. i guess thats an overstatement, there are many things i care about, but i think im tired, ready for a change, ready to see a new part of the world, a part of the world where i feel like i can make a difference. i dont know if im bored with my place in life at this point, but whatever has caused my lethargy has got me down. its hard to pin point, but i know there is something inside giving me hope, but its unknownness is not much help. its one of those indescribable feelings. its like a flint that has all the possibility of being sparked but the matchstick is missing. its something that is outside me. its something that bigger than me. i dont feel like i can write any more. if i would write i would wr