Artifacts of a Life Once Lived

i asked out a girl this weekend for the first time in my whole life. it was pretty amazing. the rush i felt was intense, my heart pounding, my breath short, my throat scratchy, but it all worked out. she said ok! she said she would go with me sometime. i say this is the first girl i have ever asked out for real because all of the other girls i have gone on dates with have been part of the initiation process. even the one girl that i dated, i didnt even ask out on my own initiative, my roomate basically did all the work for me. im so lame, i know, but i just cant ask girls out. i dont know why, i think im afraid of them, especially the pretty ones. either way, this time i asked her out and i am so excited. just thinking about the experience causes my nerves to shake. not thinking about the coming date, but thinking about the asking-event. i am so happy for myself. in all actuality though, this is pretty sad. im 25. what is it about girls that makes me weak? i dont know what it is. i wis

having a passion for life. when i was in college "passion" was one of those words that caused red flags to go up in my head. i guess its because as a teenager i went to an extremely conservative church and we were expected (if of course we were to be spiritual) to have moving experiences of the spirit, and then we would arise to the spiritual status of being "on fire" for the Lord. to this day im still not sure what it means to be "on fire" (dispensationalists, we are really allegoricists when it comes to your own talking!!). the best example of this is summer camp. we would go away to camp for a week or so. it was like clockwork, about the 3rd night or so the singing would last a bit longer and then the invitations would be longer, until the end of the week on the last night or the last two nights we would have "revival." kids would get saved (again), others would get all emotional and cry and get things "right" in their lives. we woul

i blog because i can. i love to write, but i never have time to do it. thats the frustrating part. im sure most people would write more if they could... their ideas and feelings and hardships and loves... i mean who doesnt want to write about that stuff, cause everyone loves to hear about it, surely, atleast women do, i think its because women are more sensible when it comes to making live meaningful. most men wont write, atleast where it is accessible because they are scared of vulnerability. but i think writing is the best way to be the least vulnerable, because when some one is reading what is being written the reader is only present, not the writer, thus the vulnerability that comes with personal contact is lost. i wish writing was a more common phenomenon, people are suckers for reading into the lives of other people. who isnt a busy body? everyone loves to be in the "know," people love talking about "drama" and watching "drama" and being in the middl