Skip to main content

Fortune Cookie Jesus OR God is my butler and bellman




I love my job, especially working for a “Christian” company. My favorite part of the day is when the mass emails intended to inspire, to lift office moral, and to make you just feel good pop in unexpectedly to my little outlook box! This one came forwarded to me from a co-worker. I couldn’t really tell if this was taken from The Flying Eggroll’s fortune cookies or if Joel Osteen coined the thought… but, realistically either is a likely explanation.

Here’s what it said:

When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust Him fully and let go, only 1 of 2 things will happen, either He'll catch you when you fall, or He'll teach you how to fly! The power of one sentence! God is going to shift things around for you today and let things work in your favor. God closes doors no man can open & God opens doors no man can close.” (emphasis mine)

Nonetheless, I am reminded every day of the superstitious nature of the average person’s folk-theology.

I don’t know the religious history of the people passing this stuff around, but my co-worker and fellow-minded friend in the faith responded by saying this:

“…too bad many would say that God didn’t catch them…instead he let them fall on their f-ing faces…I have friends who are indeed Christian, yet have been through very difficult times…this kind of crap is despicable to them.

I love the inconsistencies of company policies. We should find some blessing or encouraging promise from the Koran or the Book of Mormon and send it out.”

Popular posts from this blog

go with your gut

I was sitting in a coffee shop on Sunday, and a young lady sat next to me on the sofa. The place was packed and that was the only other seat open. She asked if she could sit and I smiled and nodded. I continued my business, trying to give the impression that it was no big deal that this cute girl just sat next to me. It wasn't a big deal, after all it happens every day. Right... Though it appeared to be the case, that was not the case. For about an hour or so I could not focus on what I was doing. I was constantly thinking about what I will say in order to strike up a conversation, find out her "status", and make a decision whether to ask her out or not. So I sat nervously thinking about what to say. It wasn't that hard, because she was feverishly grading what appeared to be homework, as if she was a teacher. So at a natural transition in my business I asked, "Are you a teacher?" That was that. She was kind and responded as if not to be bothered by my questi

what is it?

God, Is it proper to approach you first with a heavy heart? Or rather should I come confessing your goodness and love and holiness even if I don't feel like it? When I come with such a desperate heaviness it is hard to confess with my lips what I know to be true of you in my heart. I have read about your every-day-new-mercy, but I have also read your servant David and have seen how you accepted his groanings when he lay on the floor in despair over the heaviness in his soul. From where my heaviness arises I cannot with full confidence say, though I know my sin and its subsequent guilt are ever-present before my eyes. Though I rest in your forgiveness I tremble when I think of my hearts willful disobedience to what is righteous, to what pertains to wholeness. I know my heart and its vileness and evil, I know what hides in the shadows from the eyes of my friends. But here is my despair: that I yearn yet I do not know what for. There is a strange and dark cloud alive over me with a mi

Three Questions

Q1. If you were to be in ministry 10 years from now (whether you're in ministry now or not) what would you like to be doing and where? Q2. If you could wake up tomorrow with a degree and all the learning that would have gone with it from any seminary which one would you pick and why? Q3. What's your poison: donuts, beer, wine, pizza, chocolate, twinkies, key-lime pie? 1. In my crazy mind I see myself either A) functioning in a ministerial role (non-denominational or denominational?) or B) functioning in an educational administrative role in a Christian School (high school or college?) 2. Truett Seminary (Baylor University) because I would like to study Christian History with D. H. Williams. 3. Djarum Blacks (literally, they're killing me...) I tag: Matt Woodard Patrick Mitchell Ethan Welch Joel Reemstma