A friend facebooked me. She asked: "Why did you go to seminary?"
My Response:
Why did I go to Seminary? Well... Good question. Very, very good question.
As with most life choices (especially major decisions) there are several reasons behind the decisions we make, no matter if a positive or negative decision is reached. After asking appropriate questions, we view the options. We count them, we weigh them, we evaluate them. We pray. We seek advice. We seek second opinions. We listen. Then when all is said and done the life-chooser makes life-choices by the grace of God.
I will begin with my college experience. I went to college with the belief that I was "called" to be a Pastor. I had some experience back a few years ago where I felt a burning in the bosom and felt impressed to pursue Christian ministry. Whether or not that is legitimate "calling" is irrelevant at this point because I am where I am by God's grace and His leading and I would not change it if I could. All that to say, I had the mind that when I would graduate I would pursue a ministry position in a Church or Christian School. My Junior year of college was a major turning point in my growth as a Student and a Christian. I was indirectly challenged by three individuals and one object. The first a Friend. The second a Teacher. The third a like-minded Friend. The object - Books.
The first was a friend who took "school" seriously. He was dedicated to "doing well" and "working hard" and being "proficient" in his course of study, which happened to be Engineering. I saw his work ethic, his "coolness" in spite of his being in the library every day for several hours. I usually did well in school, but only took my course work as seriously as the class would demand. I got good grades, but never went above and beyond. He taught me to be a student. He taught me that learning can take place outside the classroom. He taught me to pursue what I loved and discover all there was to discover. Though I have never told him this.
The second was a Teacher. I had a class on the book of Romans. The teacher was a DTS graduate. This man brilliant. He spoke well. He was intriguing, and most of all, I had never heard the Bible taught in a manner which was as "scholarly" and "deep" and "careful" and "thoughtful." I loved the man's class so much, I took it twice in college. What Dr. Hullinger taught me was that it was OK to be a Pastor and be Intelligent at the same time. You must remember that my background in Christianity is Conservative Fundamentalism where people consider anti-intellectualism as a battle scar for which one ought to pride himself. The more ignorant you are, the more spiritual you are. Weird, I know, but very common in those circles. I cannot tell you how many times I was warned by people that if I went to DTS I should be careful because they would transform me into "worldy" Christian, or god-forbid a Calvinist, or worst of all, a Catholic (i.e. unbeliever). Any way, back to the point. My teacher encouraged me to study the Bible, Theology, and to pursue Truth while asking difficult questions, while maintaining a vibrant love for God and his Word, Christ Jesus, and the Scriptures.
The third was a like-minded friend who grew up in the same "conservative - fundamentalist" background. He actually grew up at PCC. We were headed in similar directions. We became good friends our first year of college. We talked through the issues. We thought with other friends on the issues. We continued to think and read and re-hash what we were given and realized that we may not have been given all of the pie, or at least a fair and comprehensive piece of the pie. We felt a bit cheated by our backgrounds. We were right, though I don't blame anybody. I believe they had good intentions.
The object of influence was books. I began to read. It was illumination. I had never imagined that books could be so enlightening, that I could learn so much and that there was so much interesting stuff on God, the Bible, Christianity, Doctrine, Philosophy, History, etc. Books began to make sense. Reading them began to open a world which I never imagine existed. What surprises me is that no one ever encouraged me to do it, or at least I didn't recall. No one ever mentioned it was there to be taken, or at least that I remember. The PCC library became a feast of feasts. I couldn't get enough. I wanted to learn more! It was probably a bit over the top but true nonetheless.
Ok, so with that context consider the following. I believed God was leading me to serve him in the Church (and I still do, but to a different degree). I would be 23 when I would graduate. I had only recently, within the last year or so developed a love for Christian Doctrine, Theology, and History. It was only within the last year that I became a student and there was so much I needed to know and so much I needed to re-think. At that time I began to question much of the philosophic foundations of my extremely conservative, American, Fundamentalist Christianity. I recognized that I was immature in the faith "once delivered" and I was too young to seriously act in a Pastoral role. I realized that I might need to do some philosophical and theological fine-tuning. I realized there were so many books, authors, points of view that I needed to familiarize myself with. Not to mention I needed life experience.
With a serious love for study, theology, Christianity, the Church, and a serious lack of life experience and theological training (even though I was to earn a B.A. in Pastoral Ministry) I realized I needed to continue my education. I, interestingly, was "encouraged" by Pensacola Christian College to attend Pensacola Theological Seminary (PCC's seminary), but I couldn't. I couldn't because at that point I saw past the PCC/PTS facade and its narrowness and its inwardness and its vacuous intellectual pursuits with regards to the Bible, theology, and philosophy.
I sought counsel. I sought advice. I read my life circumstances. I prayed. I listened. All signs pointed to Seminary, and particularly DTS. My father gave me his verbal blessing and financial support. I packed my car and drove to Texas. I regret nothing. I have learned more than imaginable. I learned how much I don't know and how much I never will know. I learned to love God. I learned to love his world. I learned his faith and I learned his Word.
Thanks for making me put this in writing!!! What about you?